Why Do People Say Kindly Instead of Please: A Deep Dive into a Polite Nuance

Have you ever been in a situation where someone asked you to do something, and they used the word "kindly" instead of the more common "please"? Perhaps you've even found yourself using "kindly" yourself, or wondering why it pops up in certain contexts. This linguistic quirk, while not as universally frequent as "please," carries its own specific weight and history in American English. Let's unpack why people say "kindly" instead of "please."

The Historical Roots of "Kindly"

To understand the modern usage of "kindly," we need to peek back into the evolution of the English language. Historically, "kindly" was more commonly used as a direct adverb meaning "in a kind manner." It's rooted in the adjective "kind," which signifies benevolence, generosity, and gentleness. Over time, its function evolved, and it began to appear in requests, often as a more formal or even slightly archaic way of softening a command or request.

"Kindly" as a Politeness Marker

In contemporary American English, "kindly" often functions as a subtle intensifier of politeness. While "please" is the standard, everyday politeness marker, "kindly" can elevate that politeness to a different level. It suggests a desire for the recipient to act not just because they are being asked, but because they are acting in a way that demonstrates kindness and consideration.

Consider these examples:

"Kindly close the door."
"Kindly send us your updated resume."
"Would you kindly refill my water glass?"

In these instances, "kindly" doesn't necessarily mean "in a kind manner" in the strictest sense. Instead, it imbues the request with a tone that is:

More Formal: It often signals a request made in a more formal setting, such as in business correspondence, official instructions, or when addressing someone with a higher degree of respect.
More Deferential: Using "kindly" can imply a slightly more deferential stance from the requester, acknowledging that they are asking for a favor or an action from the recipient.
Softer Than a Command: While still a request, "kindly" can feel less direct or demanding than a simple imperative. It softens the edges of the instruction.
Potentially Implied Obligation: In some contexts, particularly in older or more traditional settings, "kindly" can subtly imply that the action is expected or even somewhat obligatory, but phrased politely.

When Does "Kindly" Feel Appropriate?

The appropriateness of "kindly" often depends on the context and the relationship between the speaker and the listener. It's more likely to be found in:

Written Communication: Business emails, official memos, and formal letters often employ "kindly" to maintain a professional and respectful tone.
Instructions and Guidelines: You might see it in manuals, signage, or official instructions where clarity and politeness are paramount.
Service Interactions (Sometimes): While less common in casual service encounters, you might hear it from older staff members or in establishments aiming for a particularly refined atmosphere.
Older Generations: Some older individuals may use "kindly" more habitually, reflecting speech patterns from earlier eras.

The Subtle Difference from "Please"

"Please" is the go-to word for everyday politeness. It's universally understood and appropriate in almost any situation where you're making a request. "Kindly," on the other hand, carves out a more specific niche. While "please" simply softens a request, "kindly" adds layers of formality, deference, and sometimes a hint of expectation, all wrapped in a polite package.

Think of it this way:

"Please pass the salt." is a standard, friendly request.
"Kindly pass the salt." might be used by a host to a guest at a formal dinner, or by someone who wants to be particularly gracious in their request.

Why Not Always Use "Kindly"?

So, if "kindly" is so polite, why isn't it used everywhere? Several reasons contribute to its less frequent usage:

Perceived Arrogance or Condescension: In some modern contexts, particularly among younger generations, an overly formal request using "kindly" can sometimes be perceived as a bit stuffy, condescending, or even passive-aggressive. It can sound like the speaker is trying too hard to be polite, which can backfire.
Less Directness: For straightforward tasks, "please" is often more efficient and clearer. "Kindly" can sometimes feel a little more roundabout.
Evolution of Language: Like all languages, English is constantly evolving. The trend in many casual interactions is towards more direct and less formal language.

In Summary: A Touch of Nuance

In conclusion, people say "kindly" instead of "please" to inject a specific type of politeness into their requests. It often signals a more formal, deferential, or slightly softened tone than a simple "please." While its usage is less common today than in the past, understanding its historical context and its subtle implications helps us appreciate the rich nuances of the English language and the various ways we can express courtesy.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Q: Why do some emails use "Kindly" instead of "Please"?

A: In emails, "kindly" is often used to convey a heightened sense of formality and professionalism. It can be seen as a way to ensure the request is taken seriously and to maintain a respectful tone, especially in business or official communications where a more polished presentation is desired.

Q: Is "Kindly" considered old-fashioned?

A: In many casual American English contexts, "kindly" can be perceived as somewhat old-fashioned or formal. However, it's still very much in use, particularly in written communication, and its reception depends heavily on the audience and the specific situation. It's not inherently wrong, just less common in everyday speech.

Q: Can "Kindly" sound rude?

A: While intended to be polite, "kindly" can sometimes be interpreted as condescending or passive-aggressive, especially if used in an informal setting or if the tone of voice doesn't match the formality of the word. This is often due to the word's historical formality clashing with modern conversational styles.