Why was Samantha not at Bigs funeral? Exploring the Reasons Behind Her Absence
The sudden and tragic death of John James Preston, affectionately known as "Big," in the series finale of Sex and the City, left fans reeling. Beyond the shock of his demise, a lingering question for many viewers was: why wasn't Samantha Jones present at his funeral? This absence, while perhaps subtle to some, was a point of contention and discussion for those deeply invested in the characters and their relationships. Let's delve into the reasons, both in-universe and real-world, that likely contributed to Samantha's conspicuous absence.
Understanding Samantha Jones's Character and Her Relationship with Big
Samantha Jones, portrayed by the iconic Kim Cattrall, was Carrie Bradshaw's fiercely loyal, sexually liberated, and often hilariously blunt best friend. Her bond with Carrie was one of the central pillars of Sex and the City. While Samantha and Big didn't share the same level of intimate friendship as she did with Carrie, Charlotte, or Miranda, she was undeniably a part of their social circle and witnessed their complex, often tumultuous, relationship unfold over years.
Big was a constant presence in Carrie's life, and by extension, Samantha was privy to the highs and lows of their romance. She offered her unique brand of advice, often laced with practicality and a healthy dose of cynicism, to Carrie regarding Big. She celebrated their reunions and commiserated during their breakups. Therefore, a funeral for such a significant figure in her best friend's life would, in most circumstances, warrant her attendance.
In-Universe Explanations for Samantha's Absence
Within the narrative of Sex and the City, there are several plausible reasons why Samantha might not have been at Big's funeral:
- Geographical Distance: While not explicitly stated, it's possible Samantha was traveling for business or pleasure. Samantha was a successful publicist and often had international clients or opportunities that required her to be away from New York City. A sudden funeral might have occurred during a time she was indisposed and unable to make it back in time.
- Grief and Personal Space: While Samantha was outwardly strong and often the most composed, she could also be deeply affected by the people she cared about. It's possible she chose not to attend the formal funeral service to process her grief privately or to avoid being a focal point at an event centered on Carrie's loss. Her presence might have been more about supporting Carrie behind the scenes rather than participating in the public mourning.
- Focus on Carrie: Samantha's primary concern would undoubtedly have been Carrie. She might have been with Carrie in the immediate aftermath of the news, offering comfort and support, and perhaps the funeral itself was a situation where her direct, one-on-one emotional support for Carrie was more crucial than her presence amongst a larger crowd.
- Unforeseen Circumstances: Life throws curveballs. There could have been a sudden personal emergency or illness that prevented Samantha from attending. The show, in its pursuit of focusing on Carrie's immediate devastation, might have opted not to elaborate on every supporting character's whereabouts to keep the narrative streamlined.
The Real-World Reason: Kim Cattrall's Stance
The most significant and widely acknowledged reason for Samantha's absence from Big's funeral is rooted in the real-world relationship between the actresses and the production of the franchise. Kim Cattrall, the actress who brilliantly portrayed Samantha Jones, had a public falling out with the producers of Sex and the City and, reportedly, with her co-stars.
This rift led to Cattrall's decision not to participate in a planned third Sex and the City movie. When the sequel series, And Just Like That..., was developed, her character, Samantha, was written out, with her absence explained through a narrative device. In And Just Like That..., it's revealed that Carrie and Samantha had a falling out over professional and personal matters, and they were no longer on speaking terms.
Therefore, when Big died in the revival series, the narrative had already established a distance between Carrie and Samantha. While the show attempted to explain this distance, the underlying reality was that Kim Cattrall was not involved in the production. To include Samantha at Big's funeral would have required Cattrall's participation, which was not on the table.
"It's a place I'm not in anymore. I mean, I'm not in that world. I've moved on. This is to do with what's happened in the world and how my character's been portrayed, and she's been a real disappointment to me." - Kim Cattrall, speaking about her feelings towards the Sex and the City franchise and her character's portrayal.
The decision to omit Samantha from Big's funeral was, therefore, a direct consequence of the creative and personal decisions made behind the scenes. The writers had to work with the characters they had available and acknowledge the established distance between Carrie and Samantha in the new series.
The Impact of Samantha's Absence on the Narrative
Samantha's absence, while explained by real-world circumstances, also served a narrative purpose in And Just Like That.... It underscored the changes in the characters' lives and the fracturing of their once inseparable bond. Big's death was a monumental event for Carrie, and the fact that her closest friend was not by her side during this profound loss highlighted the complexities of their adult relationships and the consequences of unresolved conflict.
It added a layer of pathos to Carrie's grief, suggesting that she was not only mourning the loss of her husband but also the estrangement from her lifelong friend. The show then had to navigate how Carrie would potentially mend her relationship with Samantha, a storyline that became a significant arc in the first season.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
How did Carrie and Samantha drift apart in And Just Like That...?
In And Just Like That..., it's revealed that Carrie and Samantha had a falling out after the second Sex and the City movie. The specifics are hinted at being related to Carrie not choosing Samantha as her publicist for the book tour, which Samantha took as a deep personal slight. This led to a period of no communication, and they were no longer on speaking terms when Big passed away.
Was Samantha mentioned at Big's funeral in And Just Like That...?
While Samantha herself was not physically present, her absence was implicitly acknowledged through the fact that she wasn't among Carrie's core group of mourners. The focus was heavily on Carrie, Charlotte, and Miranda as Big's closest confidantes in that moment.
Did Carrie ever try to contact Samantha about Big's death?
Yes, at the end of the first season of And Just Like That..., Carrie reaches out to Samantha via text messages, expressing her grief and loneliness after Big's death. This leads to a tentative reconciliation and the promise of a future meeting, though the details of their reunion remain for potential future seasons.
Why did Kim Cattrall refuse to be in And Just Like That...?
Kim Cattrall has been very vocal about her reasons for not returning to the franchise. She cited feeling disappointed with how her character was portrayed in later iterations and expressed a desire to move on from the role. There were also reports of friction between her and some of her co-stars, contributing to her decision.

