Which woman in the Bible slept with her father-in-law?

The Bible tells a complex and often challenging story, and sometimes these narratives involve difficult situations and morally ambiguous characters. When considering the question, "Which woman in the Bible slept with her father-in-law?", the story that immediately comes to mind, and the one that directly answers this question, is that of Tamar.

The Story of Tamar and Judah

Tamar's story is found in the book of Genesis, specifically in chapters 38. It's a narrative that unfolds during a turbulent period in the lives of Jacob's sons and involves themes of familial duty, loss, and deception. Here's a detailed look at what happened:

Tamar's First Marriage: Tamar was married to Er, the eldest son of Judah, who was one of Jacob's twelve sons.
Er's Wickedness and Death: The Bible states that Er was "wicked in the sight of the Lord," and because of his wickedness, the Lord "put him to death" (Genesis 38:7).
The Law of Levirate Marriage: According to the Mosaic Law, if a man died without a son, his brother was obligated to marry the widow and raise up offspring for his deceased brother. This was known as the levirate marriage. Judah instructed his second son, Onan, to fulfill this duty with Tamar.
Onan's Refusal and Death: Onan, however, did not want the child to be considered his brother's heir. So, when he "went in to his brother's wife, he spilled it on the ground, lest he should give offspring to his brother" (Genesis 38:9). This act, considered selfish and defiant of God's law, also displeased the Lord, and He "put him also to death" (Genesis 38:10).
Judah's Broken Promise: With both of his sons dead, Judah became reluctant to give his third son, Shelah, to Tamar. He feared that Shelah might also die. He told Tamar to return to her father's home and "mourn for [her] young son" (Genesis 38:11), implying that she was barren or cursed. However, he promised that when Shelah grew up, he would give him to her.
Tamar's Deception: Years passed, and Judah did not keep his promise. Tamar, still without children and facing a bleak future, devised a plan. She learned that Judah was going to Timnah to shear his sheep, and that his wife (his third son's mother, who was not Tamar) had died. She disguised herself by covering herself with a veil and putting on an adulterous air, so that Judah would not recognize her.
The Encounter with Judah: Judah, seeing her on the side of the road and mistaking her for a prostitute because of her disguise, approached her. He asked to lie with her, and she agreed, but only if he would give her a pledge. Judah gave her his signet, his cord, and his staff as a pledge.
Tamar Becomes Pregnant: Tamar conceived from this encounter. Later, when she was found to be pregnant, Judah, unaware that he was the father, ordered her to be brought out and burned to death for adultery.
Tamar Reveals the Truth: Before the sentence could be carried out, Tamar sent word to Judah, showing him the pledge he had given her: his signet, his cord, and his staff. She revealed, "By the man to whom these belong I am pregnant. And she said, ‘Discern, please, whose these are, the signet and the cords and the staff.’" (Genesis 38:25).
Judah's Confession: Judah recognized his belongings and confessed, "She is more righteous than I, because I did not give her to my son Shelah" (Genesis 38:26). He acknowledged his failure to uphold his responsibility and his misjudgment of Tamar.
The Birth of Twins: Tamar gave birth to twins, Perez and Zerah. The hand of Zerah emerged first, and the midwife tied a scarlet thread around his wrist, but Perez came out first.

Significance of Tamar's Story

Tamar's story is significant for several reasons:

Genealogy of Jesus: Tamar is one of the few women mentioned in the genealogy of Jesus Christ in the Gospel of Matthew (Matthew 1:3). Her actions, though controversial, ultimately played a role in the lineage that led to Jesus.
Justice and Righteousness: While her method was deceptive, Tamar acted out of a desire for justice and to fulfill her rightful place within the family, especially when faced with the broken promises of Judah and the failures of his sons. She refused to be left childless and without honor.
Complex Morality: The story highlights that biblical narratives are not always simple tales of good versus evil. They often portray human beings with their flaws, mistakes, and complex motivations.

Therefore, the woman in the Bible who slept with her father-in-law, albeit through deception due to broken promises and societal obligations, was Tamar.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

How did Tamar end up in such a situation?

Tamar was initially married to Er, Judah's eldest son, who died. According to the custom of levirate marriage, she was then supposed to marry Onan, Er's brother. When Onan also died, Judah, fearing for his youngest son Shelah, refused to give him to Tamar, breaking his promise and leaving her in a precarious position without an heir or support.

Why did Tamar disguise herself?

Tamar disguised herself as a prostitute because Judah had failed to fulfill his promise of giving her his youngest son, Shelah, in marriage. She was essentially left in a state of limbo, without the possibility of having children or the protection of a husband within the family. Her disguise was a desperate measure to secure her future and her lineage, and to shame Judah into acknowledging his responsibility.

Was Tamar considered a sinner for her actions?

The Bible presents Tamar's actions in a complex light. While deception and incestuous relations are generally condemned, Judah himself admits, "She is more righteous than I," acknowledging his own failure to uphold his obligations. Tamar's actions, though morally questionable by modern standards, can be seen as a determined effort to secure her rightful place and ensure the continuation of her line, especially in a patriarchal society where women were heavily dependent on male lineage for status and security.