Understanding Latter-day Saint (Mormon) Teachings on Intimacy Before Marriage
The question of what individuals who identify as Latter-day Saints, commonly known as Mormons, do in bed before marriage is often a topic of curiosity. Understanding their beliefs and practices requires looking beyond simplistic assumptions and delving into the core tenets of their faith regarding sexual purity and marital intimacy.
Core Beliefs on Chastity
For members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the period before marriage is considered a time for courtship, dating, and developing relationships with the ultimate goal of eternal marriage. Central to their doctrine is the principle of chastity, which is understood to encompass all sexual intimacy. This means that sexual relations are reserved exclusively for within the bounds of a legal and eternal marriage between a man and a woman.
Latter-day Saints believe that sexual intimacy is a sacred gift from God, intended to be expressed only between a husband and wife. This belief stems from their interpretation of scripture and teachings from their prophets and apostles. They are taught that engaging in sexual acts outside of marriage is a serious sin, referred to as "sexual immorality" or "fornication" (if unmarried) or "adultery" (if married to someone else). This includes any form of sexual contact that is intended to arouse or satisfy sexual desire, not within the confines of marriage.
What is Considered "Sexual Immorality"?
The Church's teachings on chastity are quite specific:
- All sexual relations between unmarried individuals are forbidden. This includes intercourse and any other intimate physical contact that is sexual in nature, even if it does not result in conception.
- The emphasis is on preparing for a righteous marriage. This means focusing on spiritual growth, character development, and building a strong foundation for a future family life.
- The "law of chastity" is a fundamental commandment. Violating this law is considered a serious transgression that can have detrimental effects on an individual's spiritual well-being and their relationship with God.
Therefore, to answer directly what Mormons do in bed before marriage: they do not engage in any sexual activity. The concept of "doing things in bed" in a sexual sense is incompatible with their religious teachings for individuals who are not yet married.
Courtship and Dating Practices
Given these strict guidelines, Latter-day Saint courtship and dating practices are designed to foster wholesome relationships that lead to marriage. Young adults are encouraged to date with purpose, getting to know potential spouses in social settings, and participating in activities that allow for meaningful conversation and shared experiences.
Physical affection is also guided by principles of chastity. While hand-holding, hugging, and even kissing are generally considered acceptable within dating relationships, they are encouraged to be expressions of affection that do not lead to temptation or violate the law of chastity. The key is to avoid any behavior that could be interpreted as sexually intimate or that could lead to further sexual escalation.
Examples of Appropriate Affection:
- Holding hands
- Hugs
- Chaste kisses (e.g., on the cheek or forehead)
- Affectionate gestures that are not sexually stimulating
The goal is to build a relationship based on mutual respect, shared values, and spiritual connection, rather than on physical attraction alone. When a couple feels they have found someone to marry, they typically focus on strengthening their relationship and preparing for the temple sealing ceremony, which they believe binds them together for eternity.
The Purpose of Marriage and Intimacy
In Latter-day Saint belief, marriage is the cornerstone of society and the divinely ordained way for procreation and the raising of children. Sexual intimacy within marriage is viewed as:
- A means of expressing love and unity between husband and wife.
- A way to strengthen the marital bond.
- The channel for bringing children into the world, which is seen as a sacred responsibility.
"The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children." - The Family: A Proclamation to the World
This perspective underscores why the Church places such a strong emphasis on reserving sexual intimacy for marriage. It is not seen as a restriction for the sake of restriction, but rather as a protection of a sacred covenant and a foundational element of their faith and family structure.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
How do Latter-day Saints define "sexual intimacy" before marriage?
Latter-day Saints consider any sexual contact between individuals who are not married to each other to be a violation of the law of chastity. This includes, but is not limited to, sexual intercourse, petting, and any other act that is sexually stimulating or intended to arouse sexual desire.
Why do Mormons abstain from sex before marriage?
The primary reason is their religious belief that sexual intimacy is a sacred gift from God, reserved exclusively for within the bonds of marriage. They believe that engaging in sexual acts outside of marriage is a sin that can damage one's spiritual connection and their readiness for eternal marriage.
What are the consequences of breaking the law of chastity in the LDS Church?
Breaking the law of chastity is considered a serious sin. Consequences can include feelings of guilt and spiritual distance from God. For members in good standing, there is a process of repentance guided by Church leaders, which involves confessing to a bishop, seeking forgiveness from God, and making amends. In severe cases, it can affect membership status within the Church.
Are there any exceptions to the rule of sexual abstinence before marriage?
According to the teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, there are no exceptions to the law of chastity. Sexual relations are only permitted within the legal and eternal covenant of marriage between a man and a woman.
